Top Ten Reasons American College Students Drink (Way Too Much)

  1. It’s the beginning (or middle or end) of the semester. Let’s kick it off (or keep it going or end it) right! Whether this is the “right” way to embark upon, sustain, or celebrate the completion of one’s scholarly endeavors is highly questionable at best.

 

  1. Beer Pong, beer bongs, and kegs are the traditional, no-fail ingredients for AN EPIC RAGER! Nothing invokes quality socializing like excessive alcohol consumption within a dangerously short period of time, in combination with the low-tech/high-skill games that enable it.

 

  1. It’s all good: I’m a Grad Student. I’m working my tail off to complete my coursework, teach undergrads, do my research, and complete my thesis/dissertation/publication. I have earned these (numerous and successive) pints of locally-brewed, small-batch, organic craft beer.

 

  1. ‘Cuz why not? No class? Pour a glass! You’re just bored. Go for a bike ride.

 

  1. Alpha Beta Delta Gamma, baby! Sororities and fraternities hold dear their traditions, group identity, leadership, community, and philanthropy. Oh, and drinking. Hard core binge drinking. Their parties might qualify as a modern incarnation of the proud vomitorium of ancient Greece.

 

  1. Alcohol is cheap and legal. There’s a reason alcohol producers sponsor large sports and concert events, and it has nothing to do with them truly backing your favorite team or supporting the artistic freedom of your favorite band. They want your money. Pure and simple.

 

  1. It’s St. Patrick’s Day! Or Cinco de Mayo! Or New Year’s Eve! Really, any holiday will do.

 

  1. It’s Spring Break!

 

  1. It’s the weekend!

 

  1. We Are Young! (With props to the band fun.) Yes, being young and on our own is awesome. The freedom, the autonomy, the exploration. But it can also be awkward and weird and uncomfortable. That’s a natural part of the process. Contrary to popular belief, alcohol is not ‘liquid courage,’ and drinking won’t make people like you any more than they would otherwise. Actually, they might like you less if you’re a drunken jerk or crash your car and kill someone. Stand By Me (1986) sums it up¾ Teddy: I’m in the prime of my youth and I’ll only be young once. Chris: But you’re gonna be stupid for the rest of your life. Be young! Don’t be stupid.